


Reaching Out

by Hester (hester4418)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Conversations, Declarations Of Love, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28719303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hester4418/pseuds/Hester
Summary: A conversation between Janeway and Chakotay. Not as lighthearted as it seems at first.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 17
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [purpledog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpledog/gifts).



> DISCLAIMER: _Star Trek: Voyager_ and all its characters belong to Paramount Pictures; no infringement of copyright is intended. The story however belongs to me.
> 
> I found this story on my hard drive last week and realized that I hadn’t posted it anywhere yet. After some digging through old emails, I was even able to reconstruct when and why I wrote it. ;-)
> 
> Written for VAMB's Secret Santa Drabble Exchange 2017 which allowed for a maximum of 1000 words. The first line was provided by purpledog, with the request for a J/C story.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" The voice holds a hint of disbelief, coupled with a slight chuckle.

The reply matches the lighthearted tone. "What if I am?"

"Then I'd have two questions for you."

Another chuckle. "Shoot."

"Do you mean a _real_ date? And if so, why now?"

The chuckle fades. "Why would you think I didn't mean a real date?"

There's silence. And then, in a voice so low it's barely audible, "I don't want to assume. I've done that before and..."

Kathryn never would've suspected the uncertainty she hears in Chakotay's words. He always seems so sure of himself, sure of _them_ , even though there's never been a firm acknowledgement on her part. "When was that?"

"Lake George," he says, and her heart plummets.

That time, when she'd escaped death by a hair's breadth, she'd been so giddy with life that she'd issued the invitation without second thought. Their sail on Lake George had been wonderful, carefree, until she'd looked up at him and he'd leaned in close, obviously intending to kiss her. She'd stepped out of his reach, stammering something about calling it a night. He'd looked disappointed but agreed, and going forward they'd managed to pretend that the moment had never happened – until now.

"I'm sorry," she offers. "It wasn't you. I was so happy to be alive, to have cheated a fate possibly worse than death, that I wasn't thinking straight. But when you tried to kiss me, reality came crashing down. At the time, I just couldn't see myself ignoring protocol, no matter how much I would've wanted to."

There's no reply, but she can hear him breathing deeply, evenly. If only she could see him to gauge his reaction, see if he caught on to the subtext of her statement.

"Am I to understand that circumstances have changed?" he finally asks. "And that you're really asking me for a _real_ date this time?"

She cringes at the blunt question, yet the answer is crystal clear. "Yes."

"Then my questions stand."

She almost laughs out loud at his matter-of-fact tone. From an outside point of view, their situation is highly absurd. "I believe we've covered the first one. As for why now... Why _not_ now?"

There's another pause and she wishes she could shift around as her left foot is falling asleep. The right one is already numb.

"Tell me more." Just like that, his tone is lighthearted again, and she thinks back to how they arrived at this particular topic of conversation. They'd been talking about favorite foods and restaurants, anything to distract from the hopelessness of their current situation.

_"Once we get back to_ Voyager _, I'm going to book the next available timeslot on the holodeck and then I'll take you to the Earthview Diner in Copernicus City on Luna. It's a rooftop garden with secluded alcoves, and a spectacular view of Earth,"_ she'd said.

_"That sounds quite romantic,"_ had been his reply, followed by her completely spontaneous, _"It is."_

A beat of silence, and then he'd asked his fateful question, compelling her to decide whether to go all in or break his heart – again.

She'll give him all she has left to give.

"We'll arrange to arrive at sunset," she begins, picturing the two of them making their way across the rooftop to one of the alcoves, his hand resting at the small of her back as she leads the way. "There's a table waiting for us at the railing, and as we sit down, the sun dips beyond the horizon. Earth sparkles above us, all the more prominent against the suddenly dark sky. The waiter brings us cocktails, and we clink our glasses in a toast."

She pauses, and unbidden, he takes up the narrative. "I watch you sip from the straw, your drink the same deep blue color as your dress. You're looking relaxed, and happy, and I tell you so. I also tell you that you're beautiful."

She blushes, caught up in their game now, feeling warmth pool in her chest. She loves this man, and the rooftop garden certainly would be an ideal spot to finally let him know. But when she straightens her posture, pain rips into her side and she gasps.

"Kathryn?"

She needs to stay with him, in that imaginary place they've created. Gritting her teeth, she breathes deeply and manages to ignore the pain, concentrating only on his voice and the mental image of their date. "I smile in response to your words and echo them in kind, commenting on how we should get out of uniform more often."

He chuckles again, picking up on her innuendo. "I reach for your hand, lacing my fingers with yours, feeling happier than I have in a long time."

"I tell you I love you..." Her words are a mere whisper now, both because she's overcome by emotion and because there's a fresh wave of pain ripping at her insides when she sways. Both her legs are numb now and she's beginning to feel light-headed. There's a scraping noise to her right, the scratch of fingernails on rough concrete, and she extends a trembling hand, instinctively knowing that he's reaching for her. Their fingertips touch, just barely brushing against each other.

"I place my hand against your cheek, turning your face towards me." His voice is cracking now, chocked with tears. "And then I kiss you. I kiss you as if it's the last thing I'll ever do."

Her eyes are spilling over as well, wet salt mixing with the dirt and grime on her cheeks. She knows she's going to die here, in the dark, under a collapsed building on an alien world, impaled by a piece of wreckage that causes her to slowly bleed out. But at least she's not alone.

"I love you, Chakotay..." she repeats, her voice getting fainter. But just as she hears her words echoed back at her, there's a tinkling noise, and blue sparkles engulf her.

-==/ The End. Or not? \==-

_Originally, the story ended here. But not anymore..._


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who left a comment on the first part and asked for more – you triggered this. And I thank you for it!
> 
> Many thanks also to KJaneway115 for catching my mistakes. :-)

Kathryn stands alone on the terrace of the _Earthview Diner_ , breathing deeply of the rose-scented air. Closing her eyes, she turns her face to the holographic sun, drinking in the warm rays. Such a contrast to the darkness where she thought she was going to die, when help seemed far beyond reach.

The sound of doors opening and closing behind her brings a smile to her lips. Footsteps approach and then the new arrival stops close beside her, his arm brushing hers. She reaches down, grasping his hand and squeezing it, feeling him squeeze back. Her smile deepens as she turns, takes a step back and finally opens her eyes.

He's as handsome as she expected, in simple dark pants and a light shirt, open at the neck. The short sleeves accentuate his muscular arms, and he looks tanned and healthy in the golden glow of the low-hanging sun.

Chakotay's eyes roam her form, following the lines of the midnight blue dress she bought on _Deep Space Nine_ , just before _Voyager_ set off for the Badlands. It's been hiding at the back of her closet ever since, waiting for a night like this – a night where she intends to follow her heart to wherever it might lead her.

"You look beautiful," he says softly, just like she knew he would, like he predicted he would. And yet it feels new, precious, as if the words only just occurred to him.

She relishes the desire she reads in his eyes, untamed tonight because the parameters of their encounter are clear: It's a date, true and simple, as she took care to repeat in the invitation she issued the minute the Doctor released her from sickbay. There will be no misunderstandings tonight, no hidden messages. She's done playing games, and she owes him the truth. Life is too short to waste another moment.

She squeezes his hand again and they walk across the rooftop terrace, the setting sun now at their backs, casting long shadows across the assortment of tables. Some are set back into small alcoves, others hidden behind low rows of rosebushes. All of the seats are empty tonight, the two of them the only people present.

Kathryn leads the way, the fingers of her left hand still laced with Chakotay's right, the skirt of her dress swishing against their joined hands.

Their destination is a small table at the far side of the terrace, where drinks are already waiting for them. Instead of chairs, this table has a high-backed bench for two, the view facing out over Luna's Copernicus City and the horizon beyond.

As Kathryn slides into her seat, she tugs Chakotay after her, only letting go once he is seated so close that his thigh is touching hers. He wraps his right arm around her waist as they lean back, and she rests her head against his shoulder, sighing contentedly.

Darkness is falling fast now, and the city below sparkles with a myriad of lights. Yet far more spectacular is the sight beyond the horizon, way up in the sky. Earth – big and round and utterly beautiful. A glittering jewel in blues and greens, faintly dotted with flecks of diaphanous white, creating an awe-inspiring contrast against the stark blackness of space.

Kathryn sighs again, and Chakotay tightens his arm around her. "We'll get there," he says softly.

She nods silently, then reaches for her drink. Chakotay takes up his own glass and clinks it against hers.

"To survival," she says, turning her head to smile at him.

"To survival," he echoes and takes a long gulp. Then his hand starts trembling and he has to set the glass down.

Alarmed, she watches as his eyes squeeze shut, his mind no doubt battling a memory that resurfaced at her words. She can guess what the scene looks like, based on what the Doctor told her of their return to _Voyager_. Chakotay, petrified, staring at her body, broken and bathed in her own blood. The Doctor said he'd never seen so much blood on a single human being.

"Chakotay." Her palm, warm against his cheek, coaxes him back to the present.

He breathes in deeply, searching her eyes with a still-troubled look.

"I'm okay," Kathryn reassures him, stroking his face.

"Really?" His voice is still shaky.

She nods and reaches for his left hand, placing it on the right side of her belly and holding it in place with her own. "The Doctor repaired all the damage. I lost part of my liver, but he said I'll be fine with what's left."

He presses harder, as if compelled to confirm that she really is whole and healthy, and that no trace of the deadly impalement wound remains. When she winces slightly, he hurries to apologize. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"The area still feels a little tender, but that should fade in the next few days."

Kathryn's hand still covers his, but it slips away as he gently pulls her into his arms and buries his face against her neck, releasing another shuddering breath. "I thought I'd lost you."

"No." Against his resistance, she draws back, until she can take his face in her hands. "You didn't." And she kisses him, not softly or sweetly, but confident and demanding.

It takes a moment before he responds, but then he does so eagerly, his lips moving against hers with a hunger she always suspected but never quite dared to awaken, until now. She playfully bites his lower lip and he groans, pulling her harder against him. There's a small stab of pain in her side, but she doesn't care. It's a small price to pay for being here with him tonight, and she pays it gladly.

They kiss for a long, long time, making up for all the occasions they came close to kissing but withdrew at the last moment, when duty and protocol took precedence over their feelings. Tonight, those feelings are all that matters, and they indulge ardently, celebrating their newfound closeness under the brilliant canopy of a star-studded sky with Earth as the glowing centerpiece.

When Kathryn finally draws back and looks into Chakotay's face, he's smiling more widely than she's ever seen. Her heart overflowing with joy, she knows that the moment is finally right.

"I love you," she breathes, fulfilling the promise she made in their darkest hour, when their joint vision of a perfect date was the lifeline she clung to.

"I love you, too," he replies, his smile impossibly widening even more, and now his voice is strong, certain, the deep timbre sending a pleasant shiver along her skin.

She trails her fingertips down his chest, over his stomach, toying briefly with the waistband of his pants before dropping her hand to his thigh, reveling in the way his smile slips a little as he draws in a sharp breath. Making him lose control is her new mission, and she intends to do it slowly, savoring every step of the way.

"The Doctor ordered lots of bedrest for the next few days," she smiles slyly, leaning in again to place soft kisses along the curve of his mouth. "But he didn't say anything about not having company."

Chakotay laughs suddenly, a loud, rumbling laugh that comes from deep inside, and which tells her that his demons have indeed been banished for good. She laughs with him, the sensual tension suspended for the moment as they settle back against the bench, his arms winding closely around her waist as she leans her back against his front, her head against his shoulder, her temple against his cheek.

They'll stay here for another few minutes, taking in the view with their bodies molded closely against one another. But then she'll uncurl and stand, and he'll follow, and she'll lead him back across the terrace, out into the maze of corridors that is _Voyager_. They'll start kissing again as soon as the lift door closes, and they'll barely make it to her quarters without being seen. And then their simmering passion will ignite and bloom, overwhelming their senses and sweeping all other thoughts aside as they reach for each other again and again – until tomorrow morning, when they'll wake up in each other's arms and realize that at long last, they've found the true meaning of love, and peace.

-==/ The End (for real this time!) \==-


End file.
